Here’s what I want to tell her: I see how hard you are on yourself. I see how you react, then retract, try to make sense. I see how you are doing your best.
I think when you’re used to being praised for your intelligence, for your good sense, and even for your appearance, it’s difficult to admit when you need help. It’s difficult to admit you have things to learn. Vulnerability becomes a trap where you feel that should you fall, you will fail to be caught, and you will land unsafe, unloved, and unwelcomed.
And so, instead, you wander the world burying your true feelings down deep. You scold instead of listening, assume instead of asking. You build walls, wear masks, and no one gets to see your beauty.
Here’s what I want to tell her: I can feel your aching. I know your heart is breaking and has been for years.
It’s not too late. You won’t lose anything, not really. The truth is nothing to fear. It is, in fact, the gateway to your happiness. Real happiness. Suffering will fall away. The best people will show up. And most of all, you’ll stop hurting all those you know deep down you are.
Because it takes so much emotional labour to uphold something that isn’t real. And it takes co-conspirators. It takes people in pain to continue a path of unconsciousness. I know this because I did it too. And setting us all free was the only way out.
So, here’s what I want to tell her: I see you. And it’s all going to be okay. Reach out. There is not one of us who doesn’t want peace. But we need each other to remember it.
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