I used to do this thing where I would post memes that spoke to me as a passive-aggressive way to show people I was hurting. It’s a very human thing to do when we want to feel seen. Does this work, though? I don’t know… unless you’re dealing with someone who is truly empathetic and/or healed, all you’re doing is bouncing your pain off others only to have theirs bounce back off of you.
Take the above image, for example. Goodness, there is so much pain in this. Someone has been wronged, struggled, and attempted a kind of forgiveness that still leaves them unheard. The loneliness inherent in this is nothing short of heartbreaking. It calls to mind the image of someone putting up a brave front. Someone controlled, maybe, or repressed—someone who cries a lot and can be harshly self-critical. And yet, it also depicts someone who longs to feel better—who wants to let go and move forward.
I never knew how strong I was…
Yes, you are strong. Your strength is innate because you are born of love from beyond the beyond—because you are never alone. You are surrounded by angels and guides whose only will is to witness you remember who you really are. And it is so easy to forget our true nature. But your willingness to let go of illusions is everything. So, if you didn’t know how strong you were and now you’re getting an idea, awesome. Amazing. Keep going.
Until I had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry…
Forgiveness is a process that cannot and should not be rushed. If you were wronged, you deserved better. If you too caused someone pain, you have amends to make. This is not something to be attempted lightly. This is a delicate sifting that can become really, really messy. And when you try to come at someone *nicely* without having done the proper work, the vibe will be off. The result will be resentment. The truth is, you don’t need their ‘sorry.’ You need your own love, respect, and honesty. How you find those things is up to you. But it is, most definitely, a journey inward. Take heart.
And accept an apology I never received.
We never know what’s going on with someone else. And I have found that those who don’t apologize tend to wrestle with a lot of shame. You cannot get blood from a stone is a saying often applied to someone who does not have the means to pay a debt, and I think it works here, too. When someone is too bogged down by their own mistakes and guilt, you will be hard-pressed to have them step up and do right. At the end of the road of this work is an acknowledgment that people will always meet you where they are.
As Maya Angelou said, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” Focus on yourself and your own work, and know that because we are all connected, your work is not done in vain.
I write this all as a reminder to myself.
So let’s keep reaching out and let the miracle workers remind us to reach within.
And in the meantime, we are harvesting love, respect, and honesty.
And we are strong.
Photo by Daniel Frank from Pexels
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