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Without Fear of Falling Excerpt

Louisa

The party was to stay at an abandoned stone cottage not far from the village after all and not the local inn. Her father was dubious at first, but Louisa reassured him.

“Let us consider it as part of the adventure, Father! We are here together. We are safe. Surely comfort can be created. We need only be willing to make the best of it,” she said cheerfully. He smiled at her. She knew that his grumblings were always short-lived. It was easy enough to help him see the light.

The first night was unfortunately spent among the dust and  the mice, but there was nothing to be done for it. They each knew it was temporary. The next day, the servants cleaned the cottage up well enough and killed as many mice as they could. Even Louisa assisted. She was determined to be useful while her father and Mr. Mara were down in the village overseeing the begin- nings of construction. She set her sights on the small kitchen located on the main floor at the back of the house. They had brought some vegetables with them from one of the stops along the way, but all of that had yet to be unpacked. She decided to start.

Though Louisa had been trained in many things; art, music, languages etc, she found that none of these skills were particu- larly useful outside of society. In Tobermory, they appeared to be frivolous indeed. She laughed at how she could describe a perfectly delicious meal of guinea fowl and roasted vegetables in French, Latin and German, but was at a complete loss as to how to prepare it.

Her predicament grew more ridiculous by the minute. Looking about she realized she had no idea where vegetables were kept. She heard footsteps in the hall. “Hello there?” she called. It was Janey, the scullery maid they had brought from their London home. She was a kindly woman of about forty who had never married. Louisa had interacted with her only a handful of times before this journey, but she always proved to be kind, capable and opinionated. It was a combination that  Louisa adored.

“Janey, thank goodness you are here! I am wondering if you could help me.” Louisa raised her hand to brush some loose strands of hair from her face, but upon seeing the state of her fingers she thought the better of it. Wiping her hands on an old apron she had found she continued, “I am trying my best to make myself useful and I’ve just realized I know nothing about  kitchens or food or cooking at all. Can you help? I know that I’m keeping you from your other duties, but I thought if you teach me now, I’ll know what to do from this point on. What do you  think?”

Janey was a head shorter than Louisa and a little wider. Her light brown hair was pulled tightly back into a bun, but her blue eyes shone bright. She had no problem holding her own. “It’s not for a lady of your status to be working at all, mum, nor to be asking my opinion now is it? If you want to help though, I can’t say no to you.” She said with a wink and brought her hands to    her hips. “I’ll show you where the cellar is and after that I’ll take you out back. There are some root vegetables growing in the garden. We’re very blessed for that, we are.”

Louisa clapped and beamed, “Oh indeed we are, Janey! I am your student. Lead the way if you please!”

She was determined to learn new skills. It was not that she minded the duties of a lady; she did not. She loved running her father’s home and felt enormous gratitude for her situation in life. Here now though, was a chance to see her character in a whole new light, to face challenges. She would take advantage of this opportunity and she knew she would be a better and stronger woman for it.

Following Janey to the cellar, she was surprised by the foul smell, but then gently chided herself. London had smells much worse than an old, dingy cellar, to be sure. Janey led her to the wild and overgrown area outside of the kitchen. There was indeed a small garden of what seemed to be yams, onions and carrots. She bent down to dig through the earth and delighted at the feel of the moist soil in her hands. Perhaps they could plant even more!

She was confident that with Janey’s help she could create an excellent vegetable garden. It gave Louisa an indescribable sense of satisfaction to be able to contribute to the family meal. This was something that had never crossed her mind before  in London. It was not that she was spoiled, more that she had never before been in a position to question where her meals or her clothes or any of her comforts came from.

Rising again and looking about her, the scene took her breath away. It had been nearly dark upon their arrival and so she had not had the opportunity to take in the prospect around the house. The cottage itself was on flat, low ground, and the yard behind it was nothing but a hill that seemed to climb straight up.

She called out to Janey declaring that she would scale the hill to see where they were. Louisa would have to scale the incline using her hands to help her, but she was determined. She had climbed trees as a girl (much to the dismay of her governess), and she was not so much a lady as to find distaste in getting a little dirty.

Reaching the top of the incline she could see that it levelled out for a fair distance before dropping again to the sea. They were along a cliff-side! Louisa had smelt the sea strongly since their arrival, and had thought maybe that was the nature of this island… that the scent of the sea followed you wherever you would go. The hill and the cliff were covered in mossy rocks and heather. At the top of the hill over to her right she glimpsed a  pack of red deer eating the moss peacefully, unaware they were being observed.

“Beautiful,” she muttered to herself.

Looking out across the sea, she could see for miles. There was a ship in the distance with three great masts and sails. She wondered: who was on it and where were they going? There was  a whole world that seemed to beat on without her and when she stepped into it she made it real. By witnessing it, she brought it  to life.

The wind whipped her dress and she  could feel droplets of salt water on her face. Walking over to the edge of the cliff she looked down at the sudden drop and the jagged rocks below. For  a brief second she wondered if the wind would carry her. If she felt with all her might that she could fly, could it happen? Would she be supported by the loving force she was beginning to feel was with her always?

Louisa rolled her eyes in spite of herself. She believed in the divine, but she was not an idiot.

Her hands and feet were filthy and the sight thrilled her. For  the next few months she would live anew. She loved this land already and had been here but a day. Raising her eyes to the sky she took a deep breath and felt at peace. Louisa thought of her mother and mused that she was looking at the same sea that her mother would have witnessed. She was walking the same earth and breathing the same air. The idea made her a little sad and yet brought her some sense of comfort. Mary De vale was a force, Louisa remembered that much. She would have given as much strength to this wild place as it would have given her. Louisa smiled at the memory of her mother’s blond, fair face. She saw it smiling at her, proud and encouraging. The wind loud  in  her ears, she did not hear the approach of someone behind her.