My All

My All

One day my solitude won’t feel like solitude at all It will be the sweet ever after I’ve been longing for- The peace of dropped expectations and the serenity of a love recalled. It will be the how and the why, The what and the whom. And though my eyes are...
You Were Never Mine

You Were Never Mine

Sometimes it seems I love without limit. I hold the hands of many and hold the breath of many more in my heart. There is a wave of ever-expanding joy when I think of those I love. I smile from the inside out.  This love is real and reflects the truth of the world, I...
A Period of Sorting Out

A Period of Sorting Out

I’m ready for this freight train of shit to slow the hell down. One thing after the other. I miss the days when all I had to worry about was a failing marriage and an eating disorder! OK, that’s not true. But I swear to God, the stuff that is coming up for...
Be In Love

Be In Love

I was confused. We weren’t following the formula. We seemed caught in the push and pull, but then we’d always find our way back to one another. He said to me, “There’s no right way to do this, you know. There’s only our way.” And I...
Triggered

Triggered

It’s not easy. Life. Being human surrounded by judgment and opinion everywhere you turn, the worst of it living inside your own mind… We try so hard to be good. We want so badly to be right when someone else makes us feel wrong. This constant back and...
Shadowboxing

Shadowboxing

All the words within me are hiding behind curtains, clinging hard to the fabric- unwilling to show their faces. I want to shake them. There are times when I am so sick and tired of fear, of pretending, of shallowness clothed in martyrdom. I rage against it....
Let Go. Be Dragged.

Let Go. Be Dragged.

The sun above us was a blessing and a curse. For me, freckled and pale, the sun had been a foe since childhood. For my children, it was the promise of another long day at the beach. We were here- feet in the wet sand, wind blowing hard as it does on the Bruce...
The Space

The Space

They sat in their garden facing one another and yet unable to look up. He wore sunglasses in any case. When she tried to see his eyes, she could not. Perhaps it was better that way. The space between them was heavy, laden with fear though they carried it differently....
Willing to Remember

Willing to Remember

  I love being right. Mind you, I mask it well because I’m generally a very kind person. But wow, there is this crazy ego high from feeling right. It’s like a victory. I get pumped up a bit higher and even think I feel more peaceful for a bit. The problem...
I Give Up

I Give Up

“I give up,” I told her, throwing my hands up in the air. “I have no idea what anything in this life is for. Things happen so randomly, so out of nowhere…just when I think I know what I want….just when I think I know what I’m doing,...
Walking the Path

Walking the Path

  I have been following the path for years and, in my way, stumbling off and on not realizing the perfection in that. The story in my head of how things should be would inevitably shame me. It would twist the conditions of my life up into big, writhing knots and I...
Webs and Water

Webs and Water

“I feel so helpless,” I said aloud as I  painstakingly applied shredded cotton strands to the brick façade of my home. They were ‘spider webs’. My daughter had complained that we didn’t have nearly enough decorations for Halloween and so...