Love Against the Dying of the Light

Love Against the Dying of the Light

I have rage.  So many years of having swallowed the words I wanted to say- so many years of shutting up, saying yes while no is what lived in my breast. People-pleasing has caused a pool of anger to form in my belly.  At times, it rises up and out of me. And I am...
Villains and Victims

Villains and Victims

I sit here preparing for another talk with my dear friend, Susan Dugan, about defencelessness and I have to acknowledge that I am enraged. Someone is trying very hard to hurt someone I love and I am incredibly defensive. My heart, once full of compassion, is now...
May I See This for What It Is

May I See This for What It Is

Last night it was incessant….the noise in my head- the rumblings of what I imagine other people think of me. And only I can shut that out. Only I can take that long, lost breath and choose again. Again. It’s getting better. The conversations that used to...
He Wants Me

He Wants Me

My heart is scattered in a hundred pieces and he wants the whole thing. He wants me all to himself- pure, untouched, and untethered. But I am never just here. I am down the street, and across the country. I am in a starving body and a fractured mind. I am learning to...
A Prayer for the Shocked and Grieving

A Prayer for the Shocked and Grieving

Mother Mary, We call on your love and compassion today. Hold us close. Dry our tears. Remind us we cannot make sense of the senseless, We cannot recover what has been lost. But we can love. Through our weary and grieving bodies, Mother Mary, Let us love. Help us to...
Willing to See with Love

Willing to See with Love

I am a needy person. Scratch that- I am a needy person when I forget that all my needs have already been met. I forget all-the-goddamn-time. Beyond this physical world of ego, competition, drama and pain there is a world that I want. This world is available to me at...
You Were Never Mine

You Were Never Mine

Sometimes it seems I love without limit. I hold the hands of many and hold the breath of many more in my heart. There is a wave of ever-expanding joy when I think of those I love. I smile from the inside out.  This love is real and reflects the truth of the world, I...
Lover of Life

Lover of Life

They say I must be broken to love the broken. I must be wounded to love the wounded. I must not have grappled with my own darkness, in order to love those who spend so much time with the dark. But I say I am the bringer of light. I am the wanderer in the woods- the...
On Love, Stories and Jim Morrison

On Love, Stories and Jim Morrison

I cannot sing praise to two masters. I must give myself, wholeheartedly, to one or the other, or I shall go mad. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, then you will have seen a pattern in my writing. I tell a story. It’s an emotional one. Lord knows...
Slow-Burn Forgiveness

Slow-Burn Forgiveness

“I don’t know how to love us through this,” I told her as we scaled the first hill of our hike. The spring wind was rough, rustling up all that was dead and making way for the new. Green buds made themselves known on every tree we passed. My friend...
How to Take Care of Your Heart

How to Take Care of Your Heart

Have you ever seen a heart exposed, ribs spread, beating in a nest of red? It’s messy, complicated and yet, it works. There’s all this blood, all these veins and arteries. It’s perfection within a cardiac cage of tissue and bone. Your heart beats for...
Back to Me

Back to Me

Yesterday I was shopping with my eleven-year old daughter. The weather this past weekend had been beautiful and she realized she didn’t have any shorts that fit . So, off we went last evening to the local Forever 21. I love shopping for her and her stepsister....