I Give Up

I Give Up

“I give up,” I told her, throwing my hands up in the air. “I have no idea what anything in this life is for. Things happen so randomly, so out of nowhere…just when I think I know what I want….just when I think I know what I’m doing,...
Walking the Path

Walking the Path

  I have been following the path for years and, in my way, stumbling off and on not realizing the perfection in that. The story in my head of how things should be would inevitably shame me. It would twist the conditions of my life up into big, writhing knots and I...
Two Voices

Two Voices

There are two voices in our heads. I know it may seem like there’s a whole circus of them in there, but in my -albeit limited- experience, there are just two. Let’s start with the shitty one. The one that tells you how limited you are, how unlovable, how...
Those Lessons with Layers

Those Lessons with Layers

My friend walked beside me, protectively. He always insisted on walking on the side closest to the road- said his mother taught him that. I appreciated the gesture. It was something I never thought about unless I was with my children and that felt more like a frantic...
The Change

The Change

I’m on the verge of a change so big, I sometimes find myself waking up hoping it’s all just a nightmare….a dream within the dream. My life looks so different from what I thought it would. Sadness creeps so quietly and like a thief in the night,...
She’ll Forgive the Stars

She’ll Forgive the Stars

She’ll forgive the stars when she gets there. Right now it’s rocks and shoots and things with roots, but she’ll get there. She’s caught in the tangled trill of the underground, turning over the same stones, tripping over the same branches, but...
Love Them As They Are

Love Them As They Are

This is all I can do: love people as they are and then love everything as it is. This is what my Teacher seems to be teaching. And it’s not easy when you’re used to control. I could always use certain words, frame things in a particular way….all to...
What Makes a Writer?

What Makes a Writer?

I have no freaking clue. That’s why I’m asking you. Anyway, I’m asking because there are times I feel like I’m playing make-believe. And at some level I know that I am. From A Course in Miracles perspective it’s all make-believe, but...
Ain’t No Victims ‘Round Here

Ain’t No Victims ‘Round Here

Three things I know about pain: 1) It’s a call for healing. 2) It’s a call for change 3) You cannot compare yours to someone else’s. Three things I’ve tried to do about my pain: 1) Ignore it 2) Wallow in it 3) Compare it Everything that has...
The Falling

The Falling

So this is what it feels like to fall. To leap from a cliff not knowing how deep the water will be. This is what it feels like to drop. I did not want this.  I was happy touting faith and letting go as the only sane approaches to living in this world; I did not desire...
Same Mistakes

Same Mistakes

Please baby girl, don’t make the same mistakes as me. And I cannot help but feel it is a selfish plea.  I would suffer.  I would suffer to see her float aimlessly through life looking for love in all the places it is not.  But who am I to judge her journey?  Who...
The Teachers

The Teachers

God bless us all, for we are all teachers.  We are each aspects of a Divine mind that loves beyond all our current understanding.  We, each of us, have a voice, a song, a tapestry. And I have made a decision. I don’t need your credentials, impressive though they...