Eyes Don’t Lie

Eyes Don’t Lie

It wasn’t the first time I had seen her, but it was the first time we’d spoken. We’d met years earlier, casually. This time her husband was with her and this time, I got to see her eyes- up close and in person. I’d seen her image grace my...
Committed

Committed

By the time I reached the peak I was running out of breath. The day was grey and cold and if it weren’t for my persistent, adorable dog I never would have made it out at all. Sometimes Life hands you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it- or perhaps...
The Stories Heal Project

The Stories Heal Project

Today is Day One of The Stories Heal Project. Today I interview an incredible woman with an equally incredible story. It will be the first in a series of interviews as I work to compile her story into something meaningful, something transformative. The intention here...
The Grudge

The Grudge

I was taken aback. The memory of that day filled my veins- rushing thick and and quick throughout my entire body. Nearly five years ago, I was sitting on my bed crying- trying to explain myself to someone uninterested in what I had to say. We spoke through screens and...
Love Against the Dying of the Light

Love Against the Dying of the Light

I have rage.  So many years of having swallowed the words I wanted to say- so many years of shutting up, saying yes while no is what lived in my breast. People-pleasing has caused a pool of anger to form in my belly.  At times, it rises up and out of me. And I am...
May I See This for What It Is

May I See This for What It Is

Last night it was incessant….the noise in my head- the rumblings of what I imagine other people think of me. And only I can shut that out. Only I can take that long, lost breath and choose again. Again. It’s getting better. The conversations that used to...
The Toughest Year Yet

The Toughest Year Yet

Today I celebrate 6 years abstinence from bulimia. Surprisingly, this past year was one of the toughest. Anyone who has struggled with healing an eating disorder or addiction may know what I’m talking about, but I can only speak from my own experience. I did not...
Skinny Love

Skinny Love

They lounged quietly, contentedly on his worn grey couch. Her head was in his lap as they watched another “Museum Secrets” rerun. He yawned; she kissed his knee. “There’s a thing called ‘Skinny Love'”, she said staring straight...
She’s Too Much

She’s Too Much

My mind is a shadow- half dark, half light- cast from a thought that never happened, never real. This is how I used to live: I would carry with me the weight of never being good enough- that I was always wrong somehow. I thought I was too much- too emotional, too...
As a Child Speaks

As a Child Speaks

Because he has this knack for speaking from his heart and because he means no harm, it’s hard not to fall in love with him. This child with hopes so simple and sweet. Ever since the moment I laid eyes on my son, I could feel a visceral connection. He knows when...
Shadowboxing

Shadowboxing

All the words within me are hiding behind curtains, clinging hard to the fabric- unwilling to show their faces. I want to shake them. There are times when I am so sick and tired of fear, of pretending, of shallowness clothed in martyrdom. I rage against it....
One Day

One Day

    Everyone has heard the adage: One day at a time. In recovery it was one I needed to hear often. In those rooms of beautiful souls resolved to live better, I heard so many incredibly helpful things, but this one was always true. It could be said a million different...