Willing to See with Love

Willing to See with Love

I am a needy person. Scratch that- I am a needy person when I forget that all my needs have already been met. I forget all-the-goddamn-time. Beyond this physical world of ego, competition, drama and pain there is a world that I want. This world is available to me at...
On Love, Stories and Jim Morrison

On Love, Stories and Jim Morrison

I cannot sing praise to two masters. I must give myself, wholeheartedly, to one or the other, or I shall go mad. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, then you will have seen a pattern in my writing. I tell a story. It’s an emotional one. Lord knows...
How to Take Care of Your Heart

How to Take Care of Your Heart

Have you ever seen a heart exposed, ribs spread, beating in a nest of red? It’s messy, complicated and yet, it works. There’s all this blood, all these veins and arteries. It’s perfection within a cardiac cage of tissue and bone. Your heart beats for...
Let It Burn

Let It Burn

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” I said to her with a pout. We sat outside in the sun. Early April was never predictable, particularly on the Bruce Peninsula, but we had lucked out. Sitting on the deck overlooking Lake Huron, we wore...
This is Home

This is Home

Just today I said to him: “You are blessed to be right up against your pain so you can say to Spirit: ‘This is what is happening and it feels SO awful! Take this from me and look at it for me. I want to see what You see. I want a better way.’ And the...
A Period of Sorting Out

A Period of Sorting Out

I’m ready for this freight train of shit to slow the hell down. One thing after the other. I miss the days when all I had to worry about was a failing marriage and an eating disorder! OK, that’s not true. But I swear to God, the stuff that is coming up for...
All That’s Left Unfelt

All That’s Left Unfelt

I wasn’t even sure how to start this post because it seems to me that I write about the same things over and over. And then it seems that I confuse my writing with my thoughts because, for me, they are so closely linked. What has been smack-dab in front of my...
This is the Way Home

This is the Way Home

Oh, if only this journey was about beautiful words, quotes, meditations and prayers. If only it weren’t about the pain, frustration, resistance, the pull to blame, to withhold love when I believe I’ve been wronged… I walk hand in hand with my...
She’s Too Much

She’s Too Much

My mind is a shadow- half dark, half light- cast from a thought that never happened, never real. This is how I used to live: I would carry with me the weight of never being good enough- that I was always wrong somehow. I thought I was too much- too emotional, too...
Be In Love

Be In Love

I was confused. We weren’t following the formula. We seemed caught in the push and pull, but then we’d always find our way back to one another. He said to me, “There’s no right way to do this, you know. There’s only our way.” And I...
Sleepless

Sleepless

Because she cannot sleep, she prays. She speaks to the still, small voice within as if it is separate from her- as if her longing for it was the imaginary bridge between them. She lets the dam break at midnight, eyes watering, lips trembling- having held it all so...