The Grudge

The Grudge

I was taken aback. The memory of that day filled my veins- rushing thick and and quick throughout my entire body. Nearly five years ago, I was sitting on my bed crying- trying to explain myself to someone uninterested in what I had to say. We spoke through screens and...
I Said “Yes”

I Said “Yes”

My son ran joyfully through the neighbourhood splash pad, his menacing, yet innocent laugh flying through the air. I was watching him closely, but making a point of letting him be. He was six years old now. He didn’t need to me every ten seconds anymore. My dear...
She’s Too Much

She’s Too Much

My mind is a shadow- half dark, half light- cast from a thought that never happened, never real. This is how I used to live: I would carry with me the weight of never being good enough- that I was always wrong somehow. I thought I was too much- too emotional, too...
Big Love

Big Love

My daughter wrapped herself in her furry brown blanket and plopped down beside me on the bed. She said, “I must be bad because I’m not like them. I hear words coming out of my mouth and I want to take them back right away, but I can’t. It’s...
An Offer of Love

An Offer of Love

I dangle neatly between love and fear all the time. I have perched myself on a pendulum so that I may swing back and forth at will. And that’s an important point: at will. One of the lessons that is clear as day, in my face right now is how important it is- how...
Parenting in the Dark

Parenting in the Dark

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” ~Rumi Her back was to me at first, and so I wasn’t sure what I was walking into. The energy of the house was somber, yet calm. She sat at the kitchen table...
The Bond – A (Very) Short Story

The Bond – A (Very) Short Story

“Bury me there beside him,” she said, pointing over the horizon to the tall elms wearing scant offerings of stubborn yellow leaves- soon to be bare. We stood in her kitchen, socked feet on the cold, white ceramic floor. Looking through the floor-to-ceiling...
Let Go. Be Dragged.

Let Go. Be Dragged.

The sun above us was a blessing and a curse. For me, freckled and pale, the sun had been a foe since childhood. For my children, it was the promise of another long day at the beach. We were here- feet in the wet sand, wind blowing hard as it does on the Bruce...
The Wait

The Wait

“I just feel like a big, fat liar,” I told her. I used silly words on purpose. They disguised the lump in my throat. My friend beheld me lovingly. We sat on the grass with no blanket beneath us. Her high wooden fence provided an imaginary privacy. Our...
My Detour into Crazy Town

My Detour into Crazy Town

Two nights ago I took a detour into Crazy Town. You know, one of those nights where one fearful thought is allowed to fester and grow until you’re ranting and raving about things and people you cannot control, seeking out reasons to get upset, looking at things...
Silence Teaches Too

Silence Teaches Too

The talking masks the racing thoughts in my mind, or so I think.  I talk loud and fast when I am not at peace.  For fear of the silence, I speak.  To drown out the truth, I talk. I want to teach and to learn, but then I remember: Silence teaches too. I resist it.  I...