Recovered.

Recovered.

There are many things that live and breathe beneath the surface of my daily life. I hold space in my lungs for old habits and women I used to be. The woman I love to ignore lately is the bulimic in recovery. I went to weekly meetings for three years in order to...
All That’s Left Unfelt

All That’s Left Unfelt

I wasn’t even sure how to start this post because it seems to me that I write about the same things over and over. And then it seems that I confuse my writing with my thoughts because, for me, they are so closely linked. What has been smack-dab in front of my...
Choose Again

Choose Again

I lived in the closet for years. (It’s amazing what writing that out does for me- an acknowledgment.) I lived on the other side of it with a secret that was not my own. For over a year, as my whole world was unravelling, I had one person to confide in. One. And...
Borderline Love

Borderline Love

We met at the pub around the corner from my house. It had been months since I’d seen her, but the texts were frequent and often intense. She and her boyfriend were riding a roller coaster of emotional triggers and conflicts and it had been going on since last...
The Sigh and The Bliss

The Sigh and The Bliss

this crater of longing is endless; it’s madness. I look to you to fill it. be sane for me, be peace, be love. I look to you to complement me. be my other half, my saviour, my light. because this pit in my stomach is aching; it’s taking me down. and I want...
This is the Way Home

This is the Way Home

Oh, if only this journey was about beautiful words, quotes, meditations and prayers. If only it weren’t about the pain, frustration, resistance, the pull to blame, to withhold love when I believe I’ve been wronged… I walk hand in hand with my...
Resist or Release

Resist or Release

Without fail, I am helped. Every. Time. My life is not smooth. It does not flow with the ease of a mountain stream. And you want to know why? Because I resist it. I resist the calls for healing. I look at every conflict that comes up and I get scared. I think it must...
She’s Too Much

She’s Too Much

My mind is a shadow- half dark, half light- cast from a thought that never happened, never real. This is how I used to live: I would carry with me the weight of never being good enough- that I was always wrong somehow. I thought I was too much- too emotional, too...
Be In Love

Be In Love

I was confused. We weren’t following the formula. We seemed caught in the push and pull, but then we’d always find our way back to one another. He said to me, “There’s no right way to do this, you know. There’s only our way.” And I...
A Life of Letting Go

A Life of Letting Go

I wonder sometimes if there is such a thing as PTSD of the heart. A sort of post-heartbreak panic. And I wonder if there are little bombs placed randomly throughout my life: A song here, a scent there, exploding without warning. Taking me by surprise. I wonder if...
Sleepless

Sleepless

Because she cannot sleep, she prays. She speaks to the still, small voice within as if it is separate from her- as if her longing for it was the imaginary bridge between them. She lets the dam break at midnight, eyes watering, lips trembling- having held it all so...