Teacher of Kindness

Teacher of Kindness

Sometimes I miss my old life. I was breathless, unaware and new. I was forever looking forward, hopeful. I believed in the power of romantic love…that two people can do anything if they commit to love one another forever. I don’t live there anymore. But...
My Weapon of Choice

My Weapon of Choice

Heaven knows I have done it. Since I was eleven years old, I have used food as a weapon. I have hurt myself on purpose with it. For a long time it was a matter of handling my feelings (mostly guilt and shame) by eating and then purging. It was a behaviour I could...
I Don’t Want to Anymore

I Don’t Want to Anymore

My vulnerability makes me seem weak, I think- Makes me seem needy, perhaps. But all it is is honesty. All it is is truth. Because baby I used to lie like a rug in fear’s basement. I would insist, defend and gaslight myself into dusty corners. It was a shield for...
My Journey with ‘The Secret’

My Journey with ‘The Secret’

In 2008, my life was in turmoil. Pregnant with my second child, supporting a husband through a toxic and expensive lawsuit, trying desperately to advance my career in research to earn more money and caring for my toddler daughter- I was stressed to the max. I lived on...
Villains and Victims

Villains and Victims

I sit here preparing for another talk with my dear friend, Susan Dugan, about defencelessness and I have to acknowledge that I am enraged. Someone is trying very hard to hurt someone I love and I am incredibly defensive. My heart, once full of compassion, is now...
Back to Me

Back to Me

Yesterday I was shopping with my eleven-year old daughter. The weather this past weekend had been beautiful and she realized she didn’t have any shorts that fit . So, off we went last evening to the local Forever 21. I love shopping for her and her stepsister....
Let It Burn

Let It Burn

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” I said to her with a pout. We sat outside in the sun. Early April was never predictable, particularly on the Bruce Peninsula, but we had lucked out. Sitting on the deck overlooking Lake Huron, we wore...
Selling the Drama

Selling the Drama

What is it like to live beneath layers and layers of lies? To hold yourself so defensively against the world. To be so utterly fearless in your lies- knowing you will be caught. To have so little faith in the truth and in the kindness of others. What is it like to be...
Compassionate Distance

Compassionate Distance

No one can cut me out of their heart. I love you and I am simply working on accepting people as they are. This way, everything can settle in and flow. My interference is my resistance- I am letting go. Six years ago- almost to the day- I sat on the floor of my friend,...
Woman, You Can Do Hard Things

Woman, You Can Do Hard Things

For a lot of my life I was a runner- an avoider. I was scared a lot, more often than not. I was constantly unsure of myself. Having always been a Highly Sensitive Person and an empath, I was very attuned to the energy and moods of the people around me. And there was...
This is Home

This is Home

Just today I said to him: “You are blessed to be right up against your pain so you can say to Spirit: ‘This is what is happening and it feels SO awful! Take this from me and look at it for me. I want to see what You see. I want a better way.’ And the...
Women & Words

Women & Words

I stumbled upon something… My job can be a tad monotonous at times, but I do love it. I love those moments of remote connection where words bring us together. As a writer, it gives me all the...