I See You

I See You

I only wish I saw it sooner… She suffers as I suffered. She is afraid as I was afraid. Sometimes I’ll ask my friends if I’m *too* honest in my blog posts, if I’m too much…too out there. It is posts like Mia’s that remind me...
I Opened Up

I Opened Up

I opened up. And all those things I hid for so long came out, came pouring out. I just kept talking for fear of stopping and not saying it all.  I just kept going.  It was awkward and it was strained, but that’s how freedom starts. There’s pressure, doubt,...
What Would You Tell Her?

What Would You Tell Her?

I was humbled by her presence. My beautiful friend wore pain in her every pore- the kind of pain that lived at the seat of your soul, but could spread like a virus if the right words were said. She was dejected and alone, having been cut-off and rejected by the one...
Lover of Life

Lover of Life

They say I must be broken to love the broken. I must be wounded to love the wounded. I must not have grappled with my own darkness, in order to love those who spend so much time with the dark. But I say I am the bringer of light. I am the wanderer in the woods- the...
The Light Has Come

The Light Has Come

Thank you to Corinne and Gabby for inspiring me to write this when I considered silence instead. Sometimes silence is helpful and others it’s simply a way to withhold love. Withholding love leads to suffering. I don’t want to suffer...
These Gentle Weeks

These Gentle Weeks

My cells hold memories of this time of year. For six weeks or so between the months of June and July, my body and my mind begin to prepare. They begin to warn me of imminent pain, sadness and loss. I’m not usually conscious of it until I am at least halfway in....
Parenting in the Dark

Parenting in the Dark

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” ~Rumi Her back was to me at first, and so I wasn’t sure what I was walking into. The energy of the house was somber, yet calm. She sat at the kitchen table...
If Something Needs To Leave You

If Something Needs To Leave You

If something needs to leave you, you have to let it go. And you will. One way or another, that which must go will go. I married my best friend. We met when we were fourteen years old and began dating at seventeen. In many ways, we grew up together. His family became...
The Space

The Space

They sat in their garden facing one another and yet unable to look up. He wore sunglasses in any case. When she tried to see his eyes, she could not. Perhaps it was better that way. The space between them was heavy, laden with fear though they carried it differently....
Webs and Water

Webs and Water

“I feel so helpless,” I said aloud as I  painstakingly applied shredded cotton strands to the brick façade of my home. They were ‘spider webs’. My daughter had complained that we didn’t have nearly enough decorations for Halloween and so...
Even Spirit Girls Get the Blues

Even Spirit Girls Get the Blues

“I’ll just warn you; I’m in a horrible mood,” I said as I opened my front door for my friend. I was draped in oversized black cotton from head to toe. She wore pink. I tried, pathetically, to pretend it didn’t annoy me. She smiled and bit...
Sight

Sight

The fear, the fear, that festering, unfathomable fear. That I’m alone in this. That I’m adrift with neither reed nor rock to anchor me. That fear sits in the pit of my stomach beneath kind words and good intentions, Beneath a heart that beats slow and...