Eyes Don’t Lie

Eyes Don’t Lie

It wasn’t the first time I had seen her, but it was the first time we’d spoken. We’d met years earlier, casually. This time her husband was with her and this time, I got to see her eyes- up close and in person. I’d seen her image grace my...
I See You

I See You

I only wish I saw it sooner… She suffers as I suffered. She is afraid as I was afraid. Sometimes I’ll ask my friends if I’m *too* honest in my blog posts, if I’m too much…too out there. It is posts like Mia’s that remind me...
Committed

Committed

By the time I reached the peak I was running out of breath. The day was grey and cold and if it weren’t for my persistent, adorable dog I never would have made it out at all. Sometimes Life hands you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it- or perhaps...
The Latest Craze

The Latest Craze

I will never forget what it felt like to walk past her. Filled with judgments, denial and my own sense of being separate- I dismissed her. It was a moment where I got a hard look at myself, got to be honest for the first time in a long time. I swear I could have spent...
Coming Around Again

Coming Around Again

“I was never good enough and I knew it- she made sure I knew it. The harder I tried, the worse it got.” My friend was anxious, tugging at her scarlet scarf and only occasionally sipping her hazelnut latte. We were meeting at the coffee shop around the...
Teacher of Kindness

Teacher of Kindness

Sometimes I miss my old life. I was breathless, unaware and new. I was forever looking forward, hopeful. I believed in the power of romantic love…that two people can do anything if they commit to love one another forever. I don’t live there anymore. But...
I Opened Up

I Opened Up

I opened up. And all those things I hid for so long came out, came pouring out. I just kept talking for fear of stopping and not saying it all.  I just kept going.  It was awkward and it was strained, but that’s how freedom starts. There’s pressure, doubt,...
My Weapon of Choice

My Weapon of Choice

Heaven knows I have done it. Since I was eleven years old, I have used food as a weapon. I have hurt myself on purpose with it. For a long time it was a matter of handling my feelings (mostly guilt and shame) by eating and then purging. It was a behaviour I could...
All Apologies

All Apologies

Here’s what I’m learning right now: if you are willing, life will show you exactly what you need to look at in order to transcend your own bullshit. And we need not look alone. But I’ve been feeling alone. I have been feeling so very disconnected...
The Weekend It All Began

The Weekend It All Began

A few years ago there was a weekend where I faced some fears. It wasn’t my intention to face these specific situations, but it is my intention every morning to surrender and remember what my purpose is- that being to choose love over fear. It began as I packed...
What Would You Tell Her?

What Would You Tell Her?

I was humbled by her presence. My beautiful friend wore pain in her every pore- the kind of pain that lived at the seat of your soul, but could spread like a virus if the right words were said. She was dejected and alone, having been cut-off and rejected by the one...
No More Waiting in the Wings

No More Waiting in the Wings

I have been tangled up with you for years in a very arms-length, don’t-get-too-close-to-me kind of way. Never have I felt worthy. Never have I felt safe. And this has been my own doing. It has been through my own unwillingness to open up, to be myself that I sit...