My All

My All

One day my solitude won’t feel like solitude at all It will be the sweet ever after I’ve been longing for- The peace of dropped expectations and the serenity of a love recalled. It will be the how and the why, The what and the whom. And though my eyes are...
You Were Never Mine

You Were Never Mine

Sometimes it seems I love without limit. I hold the hands of many and hold the breath of many more in my heart. There is a wave of ever-expanding joy when I think of those I love. I smile from the inside out.  This love is real and reflects the truth of the world, I...
Lover of Life

Lover of Life

They say I must be broken to love the broken. I must be wounded to love the wounded. I must not have grappled with my own darkness, in order to love those who spend so much time with the dark. But I say I am the bringer of light. I am the wanderer in the woods- the...
Slow-Burn Forgiveness

Slow-Burn Forgiveness

“I don’t know how to love us through this,” I told her as we scaled the first hill of our hike. The spring wind was rough, rustling up all that was dead and making way for the new. Green buds made themselves known on every tree we passed. My friend...
Overwhelm and Open Hearts

Overwhelm and Open Hearts

The day was misty and slightly cool leaving a light spray on our skin. On each tree a scant few leaves were dead, but remained- dangling atop branches that swayed. I wore a thick wool sweater on my back and a heaviness in my chest. The ellipse of human existence had...
Selling the Drama

Selling the Drama

What is it like to live beneath layers and layers of lies? To hold yourself so defensively against the world. To be so utterly fearless in your lies- knowing you will be caught. To have so little faith in the truth and in the kindness of others. What is it like to be...
Be Where You Are

Be Where You Are

I stared out my window at the bare trees and the railroad tracks just beyond. My living room seemed empty sans Christmas tree and stockings and cards, but then I didn’t want them back. The reminder of another holiday come and gone would have wrapped me up in...
Ever Gentle

Ever Gentle

The other day I was working at my laptop while my daughter (10) and my boyfriend’s daughter (8) were leafing through old photo albums beside me. They came upon a picture of me from University and my daughter instantly exclaimed “Mom, you were so...
Shadowboxing

Shadowboxing

All the words within me are hiding behind curtains, clinging hard to the fabric- unwilling to show their faces. I want to shake them. There are times when I am so sick and tired of fear, of pretending, of shallowness clothed in martyrdom. I rage against it....
Two Octobers

Two Octobers

And it was just like last year, but different. The wind howled outside our windows, rain fell hard and then stopped only to start again. The nighttime sky was black with orange leaves flying fast. It was mild for late October. Inside there was sass and silliness-...
For The Girls

For The Girls

  This is for you. The one who has found me here. I see you. I grew up among beautiful women who didn’t know they were beautiful. They walked and talked with an underlying anxiety…a collection of thoughts that amounted to unworthiness. The conversations...
The Quiet Perfection of Now

The Quiet Perfection of Now

Winter smacked me in the face as I bore on against the wind toward my children’s school. Everyday it was the same, a mad dash from my driveway to the schoolyard to collect two bright-eyed whirling dervishes with questions and stories and hungry bellies. I would...