Truly, I don’t know how many times I have to say on here that I have no idea what I’m doing! ?
I use writing as a tool to work out my feelings about many topics. Blended families just happen to be near and dear to my heart. But I am not an expert. I am learning as I go, just like everyone else. We humans are designed to mess up and try again.
I have learned a lot from having three kids at our home every other weekend for nearly four years now. When the children outnumber the adults, you get a very different dynamic in the house and if you’re not used to this, you can be surprised by the constant flux in emotions. The kids bring with them different feelings and apprehensions from their other homes.
They bring excitement and hope and worry. They want fun, connection, time alone. And sometimes (gasp!), they all want the same thing at the same time!
When this happens, there is magic. I’ve witnessed it with my own eyes.
Sometimes there are conflicted feelings, as if they’re not honouring the other parent if they get too close. They bring up difficult topics- sometimes lightly at the breakfast table and sometimes in the midst of big outbursts. We try to honour it all without bringing our own hurt and insecurities into the mix. We don’t always succeed.
But sometimes we do. Those moments of compassionate honesty, that children so value, are priceless. The trick for us is to not focus too much on the times we drop the ball, but to commit to learning the skills to handle the difficult times so we can spend more time enjoying.
If you haven’t experienced blending kids then you can’t really comment on it. It is a constant learning experience. All parenting is. And I believe in approaching this with compassion and empathy, rather than drawing lines in the sand and waiting for them to be crossed.
Love is enough.
With all my heart, what I am trying to say is: if you truly feel like I am preaching to you, then why read? I write what is true for *me*, no one else. My audience knows this. It’s what they expect from me. And if I were to turn to pointless venting or gossip, they’d be gone in a second.
My writing has helped people, a lot of people over the years. I am proud of that.
God bless you and thank you for reading, but honestly, if I am not your cup of tea, it’s ok. Truly.
Wishing you all well, always.