My vulnerability makes me seem weak, I think-
Makes me seem needy, perhaps.
But all it is is honesty.
All it is is truth.
Because baby I used to lie like a rug in fear’s basement.
I would insist, defend and gaslight myself into dusty corners.
It was a shield for a girl who didn’t trust the world-
Armour for the one who felt she’d never win.
I don’t want to anymore.
No, I want the sweet, raw beauty of abandon.
I want the gentle ease of defenselessness.
And though I slip often into drama,
I know it is not who I am.
And I don’t think I need God the way I thought I did,
Because need implies lack.
I lack nothing.
I am a Queen by right,
Love: my inheritance.
This being: only light.
So when I reach out to you in earnest,
It’s simply me getting closer to Who I Am.
Because I’ve been avoiding her for decades,
And I don’t want to anymore.