It’s Not For Me to Say

It’s Not For Me to Say

It’s not for me to say what would make you feel better.  It’s not for me to decide how you should heal.  But I’ve seen him in my dreams and I know that he’s ok.  He’s better than ok; he’s with you, but that’s not for me to...
What If We Told the Truth?

What If We Told the Truth?

What is this boundless insecurity that makes us do these awful things? To take an innocent situation and twist it in on itself? Who are we to look past reason straight through to insanity and run with it? Because why? Because we’re hurt? Because someone...
The Grudge

The Grudge

I was taken aback. The memory of that day filled my veins- rushing thick and and quick throughout my entire body. Nearly five years ago, I was sitting on my bed crying- trying to explain myself to someone uninterested in what I had to say. We spoke through screens and...
I Said “Yes”

I Said “Yes”

My son ran joyfully through the neighbourhood splash pad, his menacing, yet innocent laugh flying through the air. I was watching him closely, but making a point of letting him be. He was six years old now. He didn’t need to me every ten seconds anymore. My dear...
Love Against the Dying of the Light

Love Against the Dying of the Light

I have rage.  So many years of having swallowed the words I wanted to say- so many years of shutting up, saying yes while no is what lived in my breast. People-pleasing has caused a pool of anger to form in my belly.  At times, it rises up and out of me. And I am...
Villains and Victims

Villains and Victims

I sit here preparing for another talk with my dear friend, Susan Dugan, about defencelessness and I have to acknowledge that I am enraged. Someone is trying very hard to hurt someone I love and I am incredibly defensive. My heart, once full of compassion, is now...
May I See This for What It Is

May I See This for What It Is

Last night it was incessant….the noise in my head- the rumblings of what I imagine other people think of me. And only I can shut that out. Only I can take that long, lost breath and choose again. Again. It’s getting better. The conversations that used to...
The Toughest Year Yet

The Toughest Year Yet

Today I celebrate 6 years abstinence from bulimia. Surprisingly, this past year was one of the toughest. Anyone who has struggled with healing an eating disorder or addiction may know what I’m talking about, but I can only speak from my own experience. I did not...
She Was So Pretty – A Short Story Serial – Part I

She Was So Pretty – A Short Story Serial – Part I

When my brother met Deanna everything changed. It was September 2009. I was off the hard stuff, dabbling in pain meds and weed. My life was about baking and getting baked and it suited me just fine. Serge was as busy as ever, but when Deanna Yip walked into his life I...
I Don’t Need to Fix You

I Don’t Need to Fix You

This is my lifelong lesson: the only one I can truly fix is me. And even that’s not the whole story. There is this pit in my stomach, like a void, where God is and yet I don’t acknowledge. I choose to see a void instead. I choose to be fearful. I forget to...