I’m searching for the middle ground. For nearly all of my adult life, my body has been the enemy. I fought it fiercely and resented it endlessly. Now it is balance and compassion I seek. I know I am not my body. I know that Spirit is my reality, and yet this flesh and bone is my carriage. It sweeps me through life to the truth. It is the wave I ride to the great beyond. There’s no sense in fighting anymore.
How do I love and deny something at the same time? How do I pay close attention to something that isn’t even real? When I look outside of myself I see that I shouldn’t carry this extra weight on my thighs, nor the added flesh on my hips. I see I should be lean, should not eat bread and should detox regularly. It seems to me this body is a weapon of mass distraction. It’s design: to keep me afraid, keep me comparing and blind me from what is real.
So what do I do? How do I find the happy medium of understanding I am sweet Spirit and blessing that which appears to contain it? I’ve asked. I’ve prayed. I’ve meditated. What I heard is Forgiveness.
So I look at myself in the mirror with an awareness that I exist above & beyond what I see before me. I also recognize that I have choices and every time I choose what I put in my body, I invite the Divine in with me. I know that I am not guilty. I can forgive thinking that I am. I know that I am separate from no one and nothing. I forgive believing that I am.
I let it all go. The work I do with my body is no different than the work I do with my Spirit. It’s all the same with the same purpose: remembering that Love is all there is. Period.