She Was So Pretty – A Short Story Serial – Part I

When my brother met Deanna everything changed. It was September 2009. I was off the hard stuff, dabbling in pain meds and weed. My life was about baking and getting baked and it suited me just fine. Serge was as busy as ever, but when Deanna Yip walked into his life I...

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I Don’t Need to Fix You

This is my lifelong lesson: the only one I can truly fix is me. And even that's not the whole story. There is this pit in my stomach, like a void, where God is and yet I don't acknowledge. I choose to see a void instead. I choose to be fearful. I forget to laugh. I...

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He Wants Me

My heart is scattered in a hundred pieces and he wants the whole thing. He wants me all to himself- pure, untouched, and untethered. But I am never just here. I am down the street, and across the country. I am in a starving body and a fractured mind. I am learning to...

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A Prayer for the Shocked and Grieving

Mother Mary, We call on your love and compassion today. Hold us close. Dry our tears. Remind us we cannot make sense of the senseless, We cannot recover what has been lost. But we can love. Through our weary and grieving bodies, Mother Mary, Let us love. Help us to...

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Willing to See with Love

I am a needy person. Scratch that- I am a needy person when I forget that all my needs have already been met. I forget all-the-goddamn-time. Beyond this physical world of ego, competition, drama and pain there is a world that I want. This world is available to me at...

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You Were Never Mine

Sometimes it seems I love without limit. I hold the hands of many and hold the breath of many more in my heart. There is a wave of ever-expanding joy when I think of those I love. I smile from the inside out.  This love is real and reflects the truth of the world, I...

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Take Care

I caught myself doing it again. Another habit unearthed to look at, not to judge, but simply notice. An old friend asked me how I was. My reply, without thinking, was this: "Pretty good, thanks. The kids are all getting along. My friend out West is coming out of her...

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Lover of Life

They say I must be broken to love the broken. I must be wounded to love the wounded. I must not have grappled with my own darkness, in order to love those who spend so much time with the dark. But I say I am the bringer of light. I am the wanderer in the woods- the...

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On Love, Stories and Jim Morrison

I cannot sing praise to two masters. I must give myself, wholeheartedly, to one or the other, or I shall go mad. If you're a regular reader of this blog, then you will have seen a pattern in my writing. I tell a story. It's an emotional one. Lord knows it's chock-full...

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The Space to Feel

Emotions aren't really welcome in our society. They're seen as weak, bothersome, attention-seeking. We are told to 'get over it', 'stop bitching','grow a pair'. Often I wonder if those who want to stifle the emotions of others are in more pain than those of us who...

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Slow-Burn Forgiveness

"I don't know how to love us through this," I told her as we scaled the first hill of our hike. The spring wind was rough, rustling up all that was dead and making way for the new. Green buds made themselves known on every tree we passed. My friend and I had made a...

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How to Take Care of Your Heart

Have you ever seen a heart exposed, ribs spread, beating in a nest of red? It's messy, complicated and yet, it works. There's all this blood, all these veins and arteries. It's perfection within a cardiac cage of tissue and bone. Your heart beats for you day and...

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