Coming Around Again

Coming Around Again

“I was never good enough and I knew it- she made sure I knew it. The harder I tried, the worse it got.” My friend was anxious, tugging at her scarlet scarf and only occasionally sipping her hazelnut latte. We were meeting at the coffee shop around the...
Teacher of Kindness

Teacher of Kindness

Sometimes I miss my old life. I was breathless, unaware and new. I was forever looking forward, hopeful. I believed in the power of romantic love…that two people can do anything if they commit to love one another forever. I don’t live there anymore. But...
I Opened Up

I Opened Up

I opened up. And all those things I hid for so long came out, came pouring out. I just kept talking for fear of stopping and not saying it all.  I just kept going.  It was awkward and it was strained, but that’s how freedom starts. There’s pressure, doubt,...
My Weapon of Choice

My Weapon of Choice

Heaven knows I have done it. Since I was eleven years old, I have used food as a weapon. I have hurt myself on purpose with it. For a long time it was a matter of handling my feelings (mostly guilt and shame) by eating and then purging. It was a behaviour I could...
All Apologies

All Apologies

Here’s what I’m learning right now: if you are willing, life will show you exactly what you need to look at in order to transcend your own bullshit. And we need not look alone. But I’ve been feeling alone. I have been feeling so very disconnected...
The Weekend It All Began

The Weekend It All Began

A few years ago there was a weekend where I faced some fears. It wasn’t my intention to face these specific situations, but it is my intention every morning to surrender and remember what my purpose is- that being to choose love over fear. It began as I packed...
What Would You Tell Her?

What Would You Tell Her?

I was humbled by her presence. My beautiful friend wore pain in her every pore- the kind of pain that lived at the seat of your soul, but could spread like a virus if the right words were said. She was dejected and alone, having been cut-off and rejected by the one...
No More Waiting in the Wings

No More Waiting in the Wings

I have been tangled up with you for years in a very arms-length, don’t-get-too-close-to-me kind of way. Never have I felt worthy. Never have I felt safe. And this has been my own doing. It has been through my own unwillingness to open up, to be myself that I sit...
The Stories Heal Project

The Stories Heal Project

Today is Day One of The Stories Heal Project. Today I interview an incredible woman with an equally incredible story. It will be the first in a series of interviews as I work to compile her story into something meaningful, something transformative. The intention here...
Severed Ties

Severed Ties

There doesn’t have to be anger, resentment or frustration to be done with something. To be over it. To want out. When I heard my divorce was final I felt a weight lifting. An end. A severance. A death. I am not the woman I was four years ago. Not even close. My...
Going Back – A (Very) Short Story

Going Back – A (Very) Short Story

I followed her down the sandy laneway to the lake. The moon was full, thankfully, as it was our only light at one in the morning. She pretended not to know I was behind her, but I never left her alone on this day. It had been sixteen years, but this date would still...
I Don’t Want to Anymore

I Don’t Want to Anymore

My vulnerability makes me seem weak, I think- Makes me seem needy, perhaps. But all it is is honesty. All it is is truth. Because baby I used to lie like a rug in fear’s basement. I would insist, defend and gaslight myself into dusty corners. It was a shield for...