Here’s something I know for sure is true: when I am not doing what is in alignment with my talents and values I experience pain. Sometimes it’s a dull ache in my gut and other times it’s a full-out tornado in my chest making me weep, tearing me up. And I think: Why do I do this?…why do I think I deserve to live like this?
Two years ago I decided I was done with living like that. I declared my willingness to follow the intuition I had buried beneath reason and responsibility. It was enough already. Out beyond the safety of benefits and a pension lay a life of risks and unknowns. Perhaps it wasn’t rational, but it was required.
My soul was crying and it was time to listen.
And two years later I sit here and type this as a more peaceful, more loving, more confident person. I have unearthed talents I never knew I possessed. I have met people who have changed my life in the most beautiful ways. I am a better mother, wife and friend. In short, I am happier. I’d love to tell you that it’s easy to live like this, and sometimes it is, but it still takes commitment. It still takes faith and a willingness to be open.
It’s not a safe way to live unless you trust. And I do. I trust in a benevolent universe that loves me, guides me. I know that if I surrender to what yearns within me, I will be carried gently to its fruition. It’s not just me seeing these things through. I am loved and I am never alone.
And that dull ache or the full-out tornado is so rare, so fleeting. It’s almost like it’s not real. It’s as if somehow, some way, only Love is real. And really, where’s the pain in that?