Here’s something I know for sure is true: when I am not doing what is in alignment with my talents and values I experience pain.  Sometimes it’s a dull ache in my gut and other times it’s a full-out tornado in my chest making me weep, tearing me up.  And I think: Why do I do this?…why do I think I deserve to live like this?

Two years ago I decided I was done with living like that.  I declared my willingness to follow the intuition I had buried beneath reason and responsibility.  It was enough already.  Out beyond the safety of benefits and a pension lay a life of risks and unknowns.  Perhaps it wasn’t rational, but it was required.

My soul was crying and it was time to listen.

And two years later I sit here and type this as a more peaceful, more loving, more confident person.  I have unearthed talents I never knew I possessed.  I have met people who have changed my life in the most beautiful ways.  I am a better mother, wife and friend.  In short, I am happier.  I’d love to tell you that it’s easy to live like this, and sometimes it is, but it still takes commitment.  It still takes faith and a willingness to be open.

It’s not a safe way to live unless you trust.  And I do.  I trust in a benevolent universe that loves me, guides me.  I know that if I surrender to what yearns within me, I will be carried gently to its fruition.  It’s not just me seeing these things through.  I am loved and  I am never alone.

And that dull ache or the full-out tornado is so rare, so fleeting.  It’s almost like it’s not real.  It’s as if somehow, some way, only Love is real.  And really, where’s the pain in that?

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