And now it’s beginning to dawn on me- we do what we do until we don’t…

Someone hurt my feelings, triggered me once again. And as I prayed and asked to see it differently, He said to me: “What if you are everything they say you are?”

I stopped. I sat up straight as my eyes popped and my jaw dropped. One hundred thoughts happened at once.

They say I only want attention, that I am disrespectful. They tell me I’m too sensitive, too soft, too naive. They say I don’t listen, that I am selfish and uncaring. They tell me I’m pretentious and fake. They say I’m mean. They tell me I’m too hard on my kids or say I’m not hard enough.

“OK,” He said. “You’ll have to list the ‘good’ stuff too.”

That, it seemed, didn’t come as easily.

“Come on,” He said. “It’s on the tip of your tongue.”

I’ve heard that I’m kind, gentle and have a good heart. I’ve heard I make people feel safe, that I am patient and understanding. Some say I write well. Some say I’m smart. I’ve heard I have a nice smile and that it’s fun to make me laugh.

“What if you are everything they say you are?”

I sat with this for a moment and it brought up a memory. Months ago, I interviewed Jon Mundy (a renowned author and teacher of A Course in Miracles). The gentleness of this man was moving. I instantly connected with him. During our interview he asked me: “Danielle, what if when people complained about you, you simply listened? What if you didn’t get defensive or begin to justify?” This has stuck with me ever since- like a seed planted and waiting to rise up to the light of my awareness.

We all have stories we tell about ourselves and one another. That’s what we do here. We tell stories. And more often than not, these stories cause us suffering because we believe them. If someone tells me I am mean and I defend myself, it means- at some level- I believe it must be true. And if I believe another person is mean, I will suffer.

On a worldly level, all the stories we tell may appear to have merit, but beneath and beyond, Truth is waiting. Truth is God and God is Love. We are Love. Asserting anything less will always lead to suffering. But, this suffering- when given to Truth for reinterpretation- can bring us back to Love. We can use it.

“What if you are everything they say you are?”

So Spirit (Truth, God, Universe, Love etc), this is what people say I am. I no longer wish to defend myself. I want your interpretation instead. Bless all those who blame me, curse my name and shut me out. They awaken me to You. And may I forgive myself for blaming, cursing and shutting out others.

We do what we do until we don’t. I know right now I’m caught up in a pattern that I’m having trouble letting go of. It’s OK. It’s hitting every nerve and insecurity, but I don’t have to run from it. I can face it. And learn, heal, remember.

“What if they are everything you say they are? Is it worth withholding your love from them?”

No. I want to love them. And I let go of what that looks like. I embrace compassionate boundaries.

Let’s do this- with patience, love and kindness. We got this.

<3

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